99 Bottles Of Beer
by Mistress of Destruction
Summary: Dante challanges Vergil to a drinking contest in attempts to get him to open up.


Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or anything related to Devil May Cry.

Author's Notes: Sorry to disappoint, but this is not the actual sequel. Though it does come after my first fic, The Little Things Give It Away, which I would recommend reading first (although it isn't completely necessary). Anyway, I came up with this idea way back in October after a friend and I had a discussion over the type of competitions Dante could get Vergil to do. Food competitions were out of the question, as funny as that may be. So without further ado, enjoy and please review!

**99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall**

Popping a pizza pop into the microwave, Dante hummed softly to himself. It was turning out to be a really great day. The girls had all gone out for the rest of the afternoon, doing he didn't know and really didn't care what – that was so long as they didn't completely drain his account – leaving him and Vergil to their own devices.

The microwave beeped and Dante turned the pop over before setting the timer again.

Opening the fridge door to reach for a beer, he heard the kitchen door open. A glance over his shoulder told him it was his brother. "How's the chest?" he asked in ways of conversation.

The night before, the twins had located a major infestation of demons in an old warehouse and had taken most of the night to oust. They had both taken a hard beating, unfortunately Vergil – being in his self-righteous big brother mode – had gotten slammed pretty hard after Dante had been tossed nearly out of the building. If Vergil had been human his ribs would have cracked like dry branches. For now though he was just left bruised. Funny how they could heal nearly instantaneously from most wounds, but if their bones broke they would be left bruised for days.

Vergil shrugged nonchalantly and Dante held up his beer. "Want one?"

Frowning in disgust, Vergil replied scornfully, "I neither want nor need that noxious fluid."

Dante shook his head and retrieved his pizza pop as the microwave beeped; he wouldn't even bother to ask about that one.

With the space near the fridge now vacant, Vergil moved toward it as Dante took a seat at the table, watching in amusement as a little black kitten moved in step with his twin, careful to not get stepped on.

Vergil removed a dish from the cupboard and spooning some wet kitten food onto it placed it on the floor for the kitten, which attacked its food with zeal.

"So when are you going to name him?" Dante asked humorously.

Once Vergil had been feeling more like himself after his return from Hell, Trish had once again put to vote the acquirement of a pet. Unfortunately for Dante, Vergil had sided with Trish and Lady. Funny thing was though it had been Trish's responsibility to actually bring a cat home, it had been Vergil that had brought home the shivering wet clump of black fur. Trish had been ecstatic, but as if the little creature knew whom its true saviour was, it responded exclusively to the dark twin and interestingly enough was tolerated without argument.

"It is not for me, but for Trish to name her pet." Vergil stated, watching the kitten eat for a while.

Dante rolled his eyes. That was another thing about the situation; Vergil was in denial as to whom the little kitten had chosen as ownership. Sighing, he watched as his brother took a seat at the table across from him. It had nearly been eight months since his return, but still Vergil hadn't spoken a word about his torture, nor had he dealt with any of his emotions regarding Lady.

Wondering how he might ever get his brother to talk openly, Dante lifted his beer bottle to his lips taking a long pull. He nearly set the bottle down when his eyes suddenly focused on the beer and an idea popped into his head.

Vergil had never been much of a drinker, and thus it would probably only take a few beers for his tongue to loosen. All he had to do was issue the right challenge, one Vergil wouldn't be able to resist.

"You sure you don't want one?" Dante asked, waggling the bottle suggestively. "Might help with those chest pains."

Vergil gave a look of sheer disgust and stood. "I think not."

"Ah… Come on!" Dante goaded. "You haven't even tried it!"

"Somehow I seriously doubt that that foul liquid has changed since high school." Vergil stated and headed around the table making to leave the kitchen. The kitten wolfed down the rest of its food in an effort to not be left behind by its master.

"You never know." Dante stated carefully, watching Vergil out of the corner of his eye, but refraining from watching his movements directly. "You're just chicken." Dante finished and smirked when Vergil's boots came to a sudden halt just behind him. "But you know it's alright if you're scared. I'm not going to force it down your throat." He continued to chide carefully. If he pushed to hard, Vergil would quickly figure out his game and instantly back off.

Vergil said nothing; instead he abruptly reached over Dante's shoulder and snatched up the beer bottle.

"Hey!" Dante cried, swivelling around in time to watch Vergil down the last of the beer in his bottle with a grimace of distaste. "I meant for you to get your own!"

Vergil set the bottle back down on the table behind Dante, his cold eyes snapping in defiance. "There you have it. It is no less foul than I remember it."

"Pfht" Dante snorted. "You don't know what's good for you. Besides you probably couldn't keep up with me anyway."

"Stock your fridge with something besides alcoholic urine, and I will be more than welcome to prove you otherwise." Vergil glared at Dante, who pointedly ignored it and headed back to the fridge, ready to put his plan in motion.

"Not even for a chance to humiliate me?"

"You do that quite well on your own." Vergil sneered and turned back toward the door.

"Even if it meant watching me run around the office in a French maid uniform, cleaning it top to bottom?" Dante asked in a taunting manner, one hand on the fridge door. It wasn't like he thought he would actually have to go through with the consequences of the challenge, in fact he probably wouldn't even make Vergil go through with it either, but the pot had to be juicy enough to catch Vergil's interest.

Releasing the door that he had just opened so that it swung closed once more, nearly catching the black kitten, Vergil turned back to Dante. "Alright, you have my interest."

Dante grinned and opened the fridge and pulled two beer bottles from its interior before shutting it once more with his foot. "Great! The name of the game is simple." Dante set the bottles down on the table as Vergil took the seat nearest the office door. "It's all about endurance. The last one to pass out wins! The loser gets to clean the 'entire' office from top to bottom, including the toilets, all while wearing Trish's French Maid costume from last Halloween."

"And how will the winner be able to claim supremacy if we are both intoxicated beyond repair?" Vergil asked, already reaching for his bottle and popping the cap off.

Scratching his head at that, Dante thought a moment and then grinning sheepishly – it wasn't like he was really going to need it anyway, but it would be good insurance for in the future – he dug his cell phone out of his jean pocket. Flipping it open, he scrolled through the menu until he had the camera option on and placed it before Vergil. "By taking a picture of course!"

"Hmm." Vergil nodded and Dante popped the top off his own bottle, taking a seat opposite his dark twin.

"May the best man win!" Dante said and held out his bottle to Vergil.

Clinking his bottle against Dante's, Vergil finished the toast. "To your humiliation."

Then they both tilted their bottles back into their mouths, officially starting the drinking contest.

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An hour later and eight bottles each of nearly non-stop drinking, Dante had to admit that Vergil was holding up a lot better than he had expected. His tongue was by far looser, but as of yet he wasn't even slurring.

"You know why I killed Arkham?" Vergil asked, putting down his bottle. Up till now he had mostly been silent, and Dante was beginning to wonder how he would ever be able to get him started on his issues or if he was suddenly going to just fall out of his chair and remain passed out under the kitchen table.

"Technically you didn't." Dante replied, speaking around a large gulp of alcohol and hoping that this would lead somewhere.

"Yes, well. It was the thought that counted." Vergil spoke, once more lifting and draining his bottle.

Setting a fresh bottle before his brother, Dante, seeing that he could use this train of thought to get Vergil onto his issues with Lady, asked encouragingly, "So why did you try to kill him?"

"He was too annoying. The man talked more than even you!" exclaimed Vergil, flicking off the cap of his new bottle with his thumb.

Dante couldn't help but laugh at that. "You thought that was bad? You only got one dose of Jester!"

Vergil nodded in agreement. "Yes, if you were to look up the words 'insane moron', you would find a picture of Jester."

Nodding in agreement, and getting a new bottle for himself Dante replied, "Good thing Lady doesn't take after her old man."

"Quite." Vergil continued to nod.

Seeing this as an excellent opportunity to get Vergil started on Lady, Dante broached, "So how come you helped her out in Temen-ni-gru?"

Vergil shrugged. "It seemed a shame that after all she had done to ascend… descend… and attempt to re-ascend a tower so filled with demons that all the rest of humanity had fled from it, that she be defeated and left in such an inconsiderate manner."

"Hey! I was trying to save her life!" Dante grumbled at Vergil's silent accusation.

Vergil shrugged again, draining most of his bottle before he spoke again. "Regardless, it was inconsiderate, not to mention dishonourable since she was severely wounded when you took victory over her."

Dante snorted and finished his beer, instantly taking two fresh bottles from the fridge behind him. "So what happened between you two then?"

"Lady said nothing?" Vergil asked, finishing his current beer and starting in on the new one, determined to keep up with Dante.

"Not really. She told Trish and Lucia – who've now got a theory that you aren't going to like – but they haven't told me much of anything." It was always like that, the girls never told him anything!

"Hmm…" Vergil murmured and then looking to the beer bottle in his hand attempted to change subjects. "Are we going to have enough beer for this?"

"Ah, sure!" Dante replied without hesitation. "There's another case in the fridge and more where that came from in the laundry room!"

"And how will we keep the beer cold once we are through with the stuff in the fridge? I have no intention of drinking warm piss."

Dante chuckled; hearing such odd vulgar words out of Vergil's proper mouth was just too funny. Thinking quickly on that question though – he really didn't expect to get that far, but just in case – he ran out into the office and returned shortly with Cerberus in hand.

"Check it out!" he announced happily and tapped the weapon lightly against Vergil's bottle, instantly frosting it over.

Taking a swig out of his bottle testily, Vergil murmured in satisfaction, "Hrmm."

Placing the nun chucks on the centre of the table, Dante returned to his spot, determined to get Vergil back on the topic of Lady. "So what happened?" Dante repeated his earlier question.

For a while Vergil didn't answer, instead he rolled the neck of his bottle around in his hand, absently drinking from it every so often. Just when Dante was going to give up and try again later when Vergil was far more plastered, his twin spoke. "I'm not sure exactly what happened. By all accounts I should have been more than a bit ticked with her, possibly left her to die or even killed her myself."

"How so?" Dante asked frowning in confusion, Trish and Lucia hadn't said anything about that!

"For starters… she tried to blow my eardrums out." Vergil began hesitantly.

Dante frowned, "How did she manage that one?" Lady would have practically had to be…

"You remember that blasted cube room?"

Vergil's voice derailed Dante's train of thought and quickly replaced it with a memory of that annoying room.

"I gave her a piggy-back ride and flew us to the top."

Dante's jaw nearly dropped, Vergil never let anyone touch him! Not only that, but there was still the matter of the eardrums and…

"She shot a number of demons off the platform where I was to land on. Saved me the trouble of dealing with them, but such was our agreement. Save for the ringing in my ears." Vergil frowned thoughtfully.

Dante couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What agreement?"

Vergil shrugged indifferently, "In exchange for allowing her to accompany me the rest of the way up the tower… she would eliminate all the lesser demons."

All right, that sounded a little more like his brother, but why would he have even gone for such a lame agreement, unless… "Anything else?" Dante asked.

Vergil drained the rest of his bottle before answering with a slight frown of concentration. "She touched my hair."

Drinking from his bottle once more, at Vergil's bland statement, Dante chocked and nearly spit out the beer that had been in his throat. Resigning himself to coughing and spluttering in an attempt to extract the alcohol from his air passageways, Dante couldn't believe the words that had just come out of his brother's mouth. Few had ever touched Vergil himself, no one besides he had lived after messing with his hair!

Vergil only stared indifferently across the table at Dante as he tried to thump himself on the chest. Sighing, he stood and despite the alcohol he had consumed, Vergil moved gracefully around the table and smacked Dante on the back a few times until air followed normally through his lungs once more.

"It is not that miraculous." Vergil spoke in annoyance and then retrieved another beer from the fridge before resuming his seat on the opposite side of the table.

"Says you!" Dante chocked out. "The last time I mucked with your hair, you left me pinned to a wall like some bug for a full day!"

Snorting, Vergil flicked the cap off his next bottle and glared pointedly at his brother. "You do things just to annoy me."

"And I suppose Lady had a purpose?" Dante asked with a slight sneer, now that he could breath properly again.

"As a matter of fact she did." Vergil stated, drinking a good portion of his beer. "She removed some webbing that I had missed."

Eyes growing large, Dante questioned in awe, "Webbing?"

"Yes. I'm sure you remember those infernal arachnids crawling about Temen-ni-gru?"

"Ah, yeah, duh." Dante answered with an expressive roll of his blue eyes. "The question is… what were 'you', Mr. Always-be-aware-of-your-surroundings, doing getting webbed?"

"Lady was explaining her dislike…"

"Wait!" Dante interrupted already understanding what Vergil had really been doing and not interested in the half-baked truth that would come out of his mouth. "You were checking her out!" Dante finished with a smirk.

"I was not!" Vergil replied defensively.

Dante chuckled, knowing the truth of the matter and not really interested in getting into an argument with Vergil, just because someone was in denial. "Was that it?"

"You're slacking." Vergil grumbled with a glare.

"Oh," Dante exclaimed and quickly downed the rest of his beer, careful this time to make sure it went down the right tube.

"And perhaps I shouldn't tell you more, since you seem hell bent on making your own theory up." Vergil grouched.

"I'll be good!" Dante exclaimed not wanting to discourage Vergil in any way. "I'm just trying to help out." He said and then pulled the last full case out of the fridge and set it on the table, helping himself to another beer. "I mean obviously you like and respect her, since you keep testing her just a little more every time and still haven't found her lacking."

Vergil's indifferent mask shattered, leaving him looking a tad saddened. "Is it that obvious?"

"Naw," Dante answered with a superfluous gesture. "I only noticed cause I'm used to having you go full out on me."

Vergil sighed, "I knew that because of her human and female limitations I would never be able to use the full extent of my skills, strength and speed against her."

"Don't let her hear you say that."

"Hmm, yes, well it is that which seems to get me in trouble most often. She really doesn't seem to appreciate hearing the truth." Vergil spoke keeping his eyes on the liquid in his bottle.

"Naw, she just doesn't like you rubbing it under her nose all the time. That's all." Dante replied, relaxing and now thoroughly enjoying this time with his brother. Leaning his chair back ever so slightly, he crossed and draped both his legs over the corner of the table.

Shrugging yet again, Vergil continued contemplating his bottle. "Regardless, each time that I have loosened the hold on myself, she has responded furiously and with little fault. I find it rather… intriguing."

"Maybe you should just take her out on a date." Dante suggested mildly.

"I am not you, brother. Nor do I think she would be appreciative of my advances. She still hates all demons." Vergil pointed out mournfully, taking a long swallow from his beer.

"She has changed you know. But you sure it's just her, and that it doesn't have to do with what Mundus did to you?"

Finishing the bottle in his hands off, and starting another, Vergil answered slowly, "When I left Lady at the top of Temen-ni-gru, I did so with only the smallest regret. I did not think I had or could care anything for her. Yet Mundus subjected me to many visions that included her. In some we would fight together much as we did in the tower, then I would become incapacitated and be forced to watch her die. In others, she would turn against me, until in the end either she killed me or I killed her." Vergil closed his eyes and turned his head to the side as memories of those vivid nightmares returned to him.

Dante waited patiently, suddenly sorry that he had gotten Vergil started on this drinking contest, for now undoubtedly, the alcohol running through his system was only helping his old nightmares to break through the mental barriers he had put in place to keep them at bay.

"In the end, all of these visions left me feeling more confused, for how could such visions terrify me so if I cared nothing?" Vergil finally spoke, his voice coming out in almost a desperate plea.

Feeling now very guilty, Dante tried to make amends. "I don't think you need to worry about Lady." He spoke softly.

"How can you be so sure?" Vergil hiccupped, his frosty eyes lifting to meet his twin's.

"Well, let's review shall we." Dante smirked, taking a long draught from his bottle. "Has she ever shot you?"

Vergil frowned thoughtfully. "No."

"There you go then! Proof! She likes you!" Dante grinned happily.

Vergil's frown only deepened and he hiccupped again. "Surely she hasn't…"

Dante held up a hand to stop Vergil before he could get any further. "She shot Trish after they got into a business disagreement shortly after I brought Trish home. Lucia… she shot accidentally during a battle in which Lucia shifted into her demon form and surprised Lady. And me… she's always using me for target practice."

Hiccupping again, Vergil chuckled. "Yes, the bullets do seem to help with your thought processes."

"Thanks," Dante grumbled, then continued a bit more thoughtfully. "You know if you give her a chance, she'll warm your heart and soul."

"Hasn't she already?" Vergil asked softly, gesturing to the kitten sitting on the floor licking its fur.

"Huh?" Dante looked over to the other side of the table, nearly toppling out of his seat in the effort to do so. "Oh, I thought you brought it home for Trish?"

Another hiccup and Vergil tried to drown any further hiccups in another bottle of beer. "Naw," he spoke, beginning to slur slightly. "It was all alone… and wet… and cold. I couldn't jus' leave 'im there. Wha' would you have done?"

"Probably wouldn't have even noticed him." Dante shrugged truthfully.

"Hmpf," Vergil scoffed. "And dey say I'm heartless."

Dante chuckled, glad that the alcohol was finally really beginning to have an effect. "So you gonna name him then?"

"S'pose I should." Vergil muttered and then eye balled the kitten for many long moments before proudly announcing, "Ravage!"

Dante nodded in appreciation, "Ravage it is then."

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Vergil had long decided that he would never get into a drinking match with Dante ever again! As much as he tried, neither his mouth nor his body responded to anything his brain told them to do any longer and it was even becoming harder to grasp his thoughts. Although he had to admit that on the plus side, his chest had stopped hurting and the beer tasted much better now. It was only particularly annoying in the fact that he simply could not get himself to shut up!

"You no understand, Dante! This all my fault!" He cried, tears streaming down his face. If it hadn't been for the alcohol, Vergil would have throttled himself in disgust.

At the moment, somehow he and Dante had managed to make their way into the laundry room and even more miraculously climbed up onto the freezer, where they both now sat leaning against each other supportively, surrounded by countless empty beer bottles, Cerberus and Dante's cell phone.

"No i's not." Dante's arm moved around Vergil's shoulders, squeezing sympathetically. "It dad's. He no should left us!"

Vergil only burst further into tears, damning himself to Hell internally for the lack of control. "Always with Dad! You hate Dad! But you no remember… He say… 'Vergil, you be good boy. You look after Dante and mother.' I fail!" he wailed.

"He tell you that?" Dante asked, pulling Vergil into a tighter hug. "You no fail. We both fail." With that Dante burst into tears as well and they both hugged each other tightly.

Funny thing about being drunk though was how fast your mood shifted and five minutes later they both had enough tears and needed new bottles. "Last two." Dante mumbled, handing Vergil one and keeping the other. He stared at the bottle unsteadily, and if it hadn't been for Vergil's support he probably would have fallen to the ground long ago.

"What we do after this?" Vergil asked, examining the beer bottles around him. Another annoying problem he was seeming to have, was his ability or lack there of to focus on things.

"Umm…" Dante attempted to put a finger to his chin thoughtfully, but the movement upset his precarious balance and before Vergil knew what had happened, Dante was on the floor.

"Dante?" Vergil asked, taking a sip of his beer and looking down at his brother's back. "Dante?" he asked again in a singsong voice.

A groan and Dante slowly rolled over looking up at Vergil with a lop-sided grin. "How you get up there?"

Vergil frowned trying to think about that for a moment, how had he gotten up onto the freezer? "I don' know. How you get down there?"

"I don' know." Dante answered looking around himself blearily. Finally seeing the beer bottle still in his hand he brought it up to examine and then with a gleeful grin popped the cap off and shrugged. Lifting the beer to his mouth, he drank and continued drinking until his body was sagged out fully on the ground, the now empty beer bottle rolling out of his limp fingers moments later.

Vergil watched all of this in slight amusement, interrupted only by the small sips of the beer he was drinking. When a slight snore escaped Dante's mouth did it only dawn on him that Dante was perhaps out for the count. "Dante? Dante? Daaaannnnntttttteeeeee?"

When nothing save another snore issued from Dante, Vergil grinned, realizing that he had won.

Chuckling, he downed the rest of his beer and then set about forcing his fingers to do as he instructed them to do and take a picture of Dante with the cell phone. Finally managing the normally simplistic procedure, Vergil grinned happily. "Heh, heh. I win!"

Moments later he joined his brother on the floor in the bliss of alcohol induced sleep.

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Lady walked in to the building of Devil May Cry through the back door, happy to be home. Shopping with Trish and Lucia she decided was one of her least favourite things to do. In fact she'd much rather prefer taking on a hoard of demons than two women that decided that she needed to expand her wardrobe.

Sighing, she walked toward the kitchen hoping beyond hope that she would be allowed to get some rest before patrol this evening. Entering the kitchen she stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing the number of empty beer bottles strewn about the table.

"Great," she muttered. Undoubtedly, Dante had gone on a drinking binge again, and she would either find him passed out over his desk or passed out on the couch. After that she would have to listen to Trish scream at him for being such an inconsiderate moron. Wonderful! Biggest question was though… why had Vergil allowed him to do it in the first place?

Trish and Lucia entered their abode shortly after Lady, still chatting up a storm, when just like her upon entering the kitchen they immediately stopped.

"Argh! Not again!" Trish growled, already heading out of the kitchen in search of Dante. "I swear, I'm not going to allow him to buy any more beer ever again!"

Lady sighed, stupid Dante, now she wasn't going to get any more either!

Lucia moved forward and then stopped suddenly. "I think I heard something." She murmured softly, quickly turning on heel and heading back down the hallway.

Not hearing anything, but aware of the fact that Lucia's hearing was far superior to her own, Lady quickly followed the red-haired huntress.

Lucia paused at the library, listening quietly and this time even Lady heard the soft gurgling snore. They both moved in unison, taking the few last steps into the laundry room, where both women could only stand in awe of the scene before them.

Lying on the floor, dressed in a black silk shirt, black pants and his normal boots, Vergil lay curled up in a fetal position. In his arms and snuggled up against his chest, was the kitten he had rescued only a week ago. His head lay atop his twin's slightly raised jean covered knee. The snoring sound was coming from Dante who lay stretched out on his back.

"Since when does Vergil drink?" Lucia asked, looking at the freezer top covered in empty beer bottles.

"He usually doesn't. Least not beer." Lady replied softly, her eyes remaining focused in disbelief, on the two platinum haired twins at her feet.

"I'm going to get the camera! This is too cute!" Lucia announced, quickly turning on heel.

Lady just continued to observe the two brothers silently, her gaze lingering on Vergil. It wasn't every day she got to witness the elder twin in such a compromising position. Crouching down beside him, she brushed the platinum hair that had fallen into his face back up into its customary position.

Vergil smiled softly at her gentle touch and murmured something unintelligible.

Snorting in amusement, Lady knew that come morning he was going to have one hell of a hang over. Rising, she carefully stepped over Dante and began rummaging through the dryer in search of the blanket she had washed earlier in the day.

"Oh my God! How much beer did they drink?" Trish's voice surprised Lady and she nearly banged her head on the dryer as she speedily pulled back out of it.

Holding the large blanket in hand, Lady turned to the blonde haired woman and shrugged. "Don't know, but enough for both of them to be stone cold drunk."

"Good thing they passed out before we got home." Trish mused. "Could you imagine?"

Lady grimaced at the thought, Dante was always teasing and flirting as it was, never mind with the added help of alcohol.

Lucia returned, camera in hand. "See I told you it was too cute." She stated, taking her picture and then looking to Trish who nodded in affirmation.

Ignoring the other two women, Lady flicked out the blanket and then carefully laid it over the sleeping twins, making sure that it wasn't covering either of their faces or the kitten's.

"You're being awful charitable today." Trish remarked casually.

"Don't want them catching a cold. I can't stand it when Dante's sick! He's such a baby! Besides…" Lady grinned nastily. "I'm going to pay Vergil back tomorrow for every comment he's ever made about me."

Trish chuckled.

Lucia looked up finally from her self-proclaimed task of counting the empties. "There are thirty-six bottles of beer in the kitchen and sixty-two here on the freezer."

"Sixty-three," Trish pointed to the one lying just out of Dante's reach.

Lady laughed softly and began singing. "Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall. Ninety-nine bottles of beer. Take it down. Pass it around."

"No more bottles of beer on the wall!" Trish and Lucia finished in unison and together the three women burst out laughing.

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Vergil lazily placed his boots up on Dante's desk, crossing his legs one over the other and leaning back into the chair much as Dante did himself when occupying the chair. His blue eyes glinted with unsuppressed humour as they followed his twin around the office.

Dante looked positively ridiculous dressed in the too small French maid outfit that Trish had worn for last Halloween. The little frilly cap atop his head completed the outrageous ensemble.

"Come on, Dante! Pick up the pace or you will never get this all done today!" Trish exclaimed from her position behind Dante.

Vergil chuckled, once Trish had found out about their little bet, she had taken it upon herself to insure that the loser kept to the agreement and that they did a thorough job with the cleaning. Now that he was no longer suffering the effects of a nasty hangover, he could admit that it was well worth it.

"Hey, I found that book on the undead you wanted." Lady's voice floated out of the kitchen as she opened the door to the office.

Interrupted from his amusement and still pissed at her from yesterday, Vergil glared at her grouchily. "That will not have me forgiving you for your behaviour yesterday."

During his hangover, Lady had taken the opportunity to make a complete nuisance of herself. She had started out the morning by taking and cleaning any and all weapons that she could find in the building, all while listening to Dante's 'cranked' juke box. When either he or Dante had tried to adjust the volume in an effort to combat their extreme headaches – the painkillers having mysteriously disappeared – she had pointed a gun at them and firmly told them that a bullet wasn't going to help their headaches.

Once through with the weapons cleaning, she had proceeded to take a very long bath, successfully occupying the bathroom for well over two hours. At one point he had even had to resort to using the kitchen sink to vomit into, as Dante was already using the second bathroom. The experience had been particularly humiliating. And just when he had thought to finally get some sleep, Lady had rudely tossed a pillow at him, informing him that there was no sense in sleeping since lunch was ready and there was still a ton of work to do before patrol. The mere thought of food had once again sent him off to the bathroom.

"Hmph," Lady snorted, seating herself on the corner of Dante's desk. "I call that payback."

Vergil only glared at her, preferring to say nothing; it simply wasn't worth arguing over something that they both knew was true.

Ignoring him in perfect lady-like fashion, Lady crossed one leg over the other and began flipping through the book she had retrieved.

His annoyance subsiding, Vergil studied Lady's lithe figure appreciatively, clad as she was in low riding jeans and a dark green form-fitting sweater.

Unfortunately, fate or rather his idiotic twin, had an amazing aptitude for breaking the peace and allowing his annoyance to return full force.

"Dante! Clean means clean! Not just sweeping it under the rug!" Trish's irritated voice rang out as Dante dodged a swat to his head.

"Ah, man, come on!" In an attempt to find a way out of the situation, Dante turned to his brother. "Bro, are you sure you were the one that won?"

Turning his gaze from Lady and glaring at Dante, Vergil replied in annoyance, "We went over this numerous times. You're female companions even concurred, that you were the looser. You may even see the photo again if you further wish to contradict the results."

"Ah, come on." Dante whined, attempting once again to pull the frilly skirt down further to cover more of his boxers.

"I'd certainly like to see that picture again." Lady stated, putting the book down within easy reaching distance of him.

Wordlessly digging through a coat pocket for Dante's cell phone, Vergil passed her the item before sneering in Dante's direction. "If you have not the stomach for carrying out your humiliating wager, than you should not have made it."

There was some grumbling from Dante's direction, but no further whining as he went back to work.

"It's amazing that you were actually able to take this." Lady commented, as she gazed at the flipped up phone.

Turning his icy gaze back to her, Vergil twisted his lips in disdain. "Unlike humans, I am capable of performing simple tasks even while intoxicated."

Lady's burning gaze turned to meet his and she slammed her fist down, jostling the photo of his mother that Dante always kept on the desk. "Really? That was why we found you…" she started furiously, but was interrupted as Dante shouted out.

"Hey! A Cheetoo!" Dante grabbed the cheese puff up off of the couch from where he had discovered it beneath one of the cushions and promptly stuffed it in his mouth.

Their staring contest interrupted, both Vergil and Lady looked back toward Dante in a mixture of disbelief and disgust.

"Gross," Lady muttered, her face twisted in disgust.

Chuckling despite himself, Vergil smirked, his disagreement with Lady forgotten once again. "Perhaps if he continues to find more aged and forgotten snacks, he'll refrain from complaining."

A smile etched its way onto Lady's face and Lucia entered the office firmly dumping a bundle of black fur into Vergil's lap.

"You mind keeping your cat away from my library! I swear if he scatters and shreds any more of my papers… I'll throw him back out on the street!" she snarled.

"Wo-ho! A two for one special!" Dante exclaimed, rescuing Vergil from more of Lucia's wrath as she too turned to observe Dante's cleaning habits.

Absently petting the kitten on his lap, as it attempted to attack his thumb, Vergil gestured for Dante's cell phone once more. Lady handed it over, and already garnering what Vergil had planned Lucia stopped him.

"Hang on. I'll get the camera. It gets better pictures than that thing." She stated before quickly turning on heel and re-entering the kitchen.

"Who knew you could be such a softy." Lady remarked absently, folding her hands neatly over her lap, her eyes focused on the kitten, who pounced around atop Vergil's legs before descending once more to his lap and rubbed up against his hand. "What did you name him again?"

"Ravage." Vergil answered, paying her or the kitten, which had settled down and curled itself comfortably under his hand, little heed as he continued to watch his twin's attempts at cleaning.

Lucia returned and passed him a small box like camera.

Smirking, Vergil worked with the camera for a few moments, before pointing it at his brother's lowered head, as he worked at cleaning the couch. "Dante," he called to catch his twin's attention.

As predicted, Dante looked up just as Vergil snapped the picture. "Vergil!" he roared, and undoubtedly would have attempted some sort of attack had Trish not firmly grabbed Dante's arm and yanked him back to the sofa.

"Finish the job!" she snapped.

Vergil snickered in complete amusement and gazed down at the results of the picture. "I'm sure this will provide hours of entertainment, once it is framed and hung for all to see."

Lady and Lucia broke out into laughter, while Trish continued to yell at Dante and Dante tried once more to weasel his way out.


End file.
